The Dogs of Law

Cass Sunstein, the Regulatory Czar in the Obama Administration, advocates that pets be allowed to sue their owners.

The Good Lord knows that pet owners simply don't do enough for their pets. We don't get enough kibbles, we don't get enough walks and humans don't scratch the right places. My human is simply an awful frisbee tosser ... especially when it is windy.

Wind doesn't affect my running ability. So ... tell me human ... why should it affect your Frisbee tossing ability?

Unfortunately, I've learned that being a dog in a pack of humans, one simply has to learn to deal with human faults and foibles.

As it turns out. I already have a lawyer.

My lawyer's name is Doug.

Doug is a pretty good lawyer at that.

When I was a puppy, I thought that having a lawyer was going to be all wonderful. As I look back on my doggie life I realize that having a lawyer isn't all that it's cracked up to be.

I haven't had more walks, and I am still on starvation rations of only three bowls of kibbles a day.

Much as I dream of it, I have yet to have the opportunity of eating by body weight in bison.

Meanwhile, my lawyer has turned out much like all the other humans in my life. He spends most of his day at his job, working on his house, his jeep or straighting out the rocks in his yard.

Sometimes Doug walks by and I an can see him from by little perch by the front window, under the drapes. I bark. He barks back.

Overall, I've found that having a lawyer doesn't seem to get me any more bones or treats or walks or the things that really matter to this little brown doggie.

As the lawyers for pets are still humans first it is unlikely that they will truly improve the pet condition.

Even worse, humans are very indiscriminate. Lawyers for dogs makes since. But imagine the chaos that would ensue if there were lawyers for cats.

Long ago, back in the day of first dog, canines throught about creating a breed of dog lawyers. First dog, first wolf and first coyote studied judicial philosophy then set out to create the perfect dog lawyer.

They came up with a species of canine known as the jackal.

Attempts to depend on jackals for legal advice proved unfounded. So the members of the canine family decided that we are better off just barking at eachother than depending on a professional class of lawyers.