Sunday, August 30, 2009

Super Doggie Power

My super doggie power is escape artist.

I can escape from a yard with a ten foot high fence.

I can wiggle my way out of any collar or harness.

I can make my way out of a doggie sleeping.

I am still working on the locked room.

With my escape powers and my blazing fast speed, I am not just a doggie.

I am a super doggie.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Dining on Bison

Today's kibble bowl was topped with bison from WholeFoods. There is a nationwide boycott of WholeFoods because WholeFoods is using Health Savings Accounts instead of insurance. Progressives are opposed to this practice and believe strongly that funding for health care should come from insurance companies.

My human is a contrarian in that he supports an idea called The Medical Savings and Loan which would do away with insurance for most health expenses. Of course, if people self funded their health care, the system would become much more efficient and there would be less money for corporate moguls and progressive politicians. So, I can see why Democrats are so solidly opposed to self-funded care.

The problem with WholeFoods, of course, is that the food is awfully exspenive. My humans gave me only a little taste of the meat.

Since the meat sits on the shelf for several days, it was necessary to cook it.

Personally, I prefer my bison raw ... fresh off the kill ... with all the dogs in the pack eating their weight in meat ... growling and yipping at each other in the process.

Unfortunately, my pack of humans is a bit slow. There is no way that we could chase down a bison. As the only one with four paws, I would be forced to do all the work.

It's a dog's life and sometimes we just have to eat what is in the kibble bowl put before us.

Dining on Bison

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Don't Forget the Doggie

My human is super forgetful.

Everytime we go on a walk he forgets something and we have to go back to the house.

He will forget the water. He will forget the poop bags. He will forget the leash. He will even forget the Frisbee.

I swear, if it wasn't jumping up and down on top of him, he would forget the doggie.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Disinformation Tsar

I am distraught. I suspect that my human reported my blog to the Disinformation Tsar (Linda Douglas

This administration official has asked all patriotic Americans to report discussions of healthcare that are not lock-in-step with official policy to the White House.

Sadly, my weak-kneed human is just the type of creature that would report a member of the pack to authorities.

First of all, it is disheartening for a dog to learn that its human is a snitch. Secondly, I wish to point out that I am not providing disinformation but simply discussing health care from the canine perspective.

Canines have a long history of a leadership position in providing health care. It is a fact that, in a valley with a healthy wolf population, you will find no sick or straggling deer.

Wolves (and other canines) have helped countless herds of game animals stay alert and in top condition through rigorous running workouts.

Dogs have great wisdom that should be heard.

Now, I realize that there would be no challenge in chasing down sick or straggling humans. Thus, humans need a different form of health care. But wisdome from dogs is beneficial.

I am taking the time to impart the dog view of healthcare because I realize that President Obama does not have the time necessary to evolve another species to start waiting on humans hand and foot.

Dogs evolved humans to take care of dogs. It would be all freaky if humans tried to evolve a different species to take care of them.

Regardless. My blog is imparting quality information about health care reform ... not disinformation.

My guess is that my poor weak-minded human has, once again, fallen under the influence of cats.

Cats have been upset that many of my health care proposals conclude with the suggestion that we spay and neuter cats.

What's wrong with that?

It's for their own good.

Once again, I wish to emphasize that my position on spaying and neutering cats isn't disinformation. It is quality information. It is the change that we need.

BTW: If we were going to get all huffy on the issue of which dissidents should be reported to the authorities; I am tempted to point out that my human has been engaged in disruptive activity by promoting a free market form of health care reform called The Medical Savings and Loan.

His radical notion is that the best way to optimize health care is to design a system where health care resources followed the lifecycle of the individual.

If we dug down to the bone; I think one could conclude that my human is much more a radical dissident than I. If anyone needed reporting; it is the human, and not the dog.

But, guess what?

Dogs don't snitch.

It is a little thing that us pooches call loyalty.

Monday, August 3, 2009

Lawyer Joke

QUESTION: How do you know that your lawyer is a dog?

ANSWER: When you find a bone buried in the small print.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Handling Pesky Hairballs

My human has his knickers in a knot over this health care thing.

It is affecting me, the dog, because he cut my walk short to twitter on the issue.

His take is that the problem in healthcare goes deeper than the government v. private insurance spat which dominates the media. He believes the problem comes from people surrendering the funding of their care to third parties.

My human advocates an idea called a Medical Savings and Loan. This program adds an interest free loan to a medical savings account. My human says the MS&L gives people ability to fund their own healthcare needs with great leeway.

BTW, my human gave me a treat for mentioning his site.

Personally I see no problem with having groups relinquish their care to third parties.

I, myself, have been a strong advocate of having cats relinquish their care to dogs.

I've received a great deal of acclaim in the dog park for my Public Service Announcements regarding cat health. Those claws of theirs cause all sorts of problems and should be removed.

So, while on the subject of health care, I thought I would bring up other important cat health issues.

Felines, as they are known among scientifically inclined dogs, have a narcissistic preoccupation with grooming. This grooming obsession leads to a health conditional called hairballs.

Cats spend all day sitting there all snooty and catlike licking themselves. This excessive preoccupation with grooming clearly shows that cats don't have the proper perspective to be charged with their care.

Dogs have a transcendental perspective which means that they are better positioned to know what is good for the kitties. They can see cats for what they really are ... the little hairballs.

A minor case of hairballs results in coughing or hacking. Serious cases can lead to serious digestive problems or even death.

As an objective third party who sees what is best for kitties, I find that the best way of treating those pesky little hairballs is a simple procedure called spaying or neutering. Yes, we could get rid of our hairball problems once and for all if we simply spayed all the cats.

Anyway, this is my post of the day. I hope that I have convinced my readers that an objective third party is often in a better position to determine the good for a population than the population itself.

My human is foolish in his disagreement with the direction of health care. Just as dogs are positioned to know what is best for cats, the federal government is best positioned to know what is good for individual people.

The Custody of Dexter

The doggie world has been following the custody battle over Dexter the Pug and applaud the landmark ruling in NJ that essentially establishes dog custody a separate specialty of law.

Doggies are remarkably open minded. We realize that all humans yearn for the special joy that can only come with the companionship of a puppy.

To date, the strategy of the doggie world has simpy been to breed as rapidly as possible. Our goal has bee to give the joys of puppy companionship to as many humans as possible.

Unfortunately, humans are a bit doltish. It takes your average human a great deal of time and effort to figure out simply tasks like how to feed us, where we like being rubbed and how to toss the Frisbee.

I've spent days teaching my human how to throw the Frisbee, and still he messes up every third toss!

A well trained human is a valuable thing.

With this ruling, the poppies are hoping that we can keep the well trained humans together with the dog that trained them.