Saturday, December 22, 2012

The Tipping Point

My Dear Canine Friends,

Each year, as you all know, thousands of innocent bright-eyed puppies are sucked into vacuum cleaners where they die a horrible death.

Despite the obvious dangers. Doltish humans foolishly slave with vacuum cleaners and spent countless dog hours vacuuming up the carpet.

Time that would be better spent playing fetch with the doggie!

As you all know, I've been a staunch foe of vacuum cleaners since my earliest days as a puppy.

I bark at the vacuum and run circles when the vacuum is running ... but all that effort has been to no avail.

That is. Until today.

Yes, my fine furred friends. I believe the canine world has reached a tipping point in the war against the vacuum.

For the last weeks I've been shedding as if fur went out of style.

I shed so much fur that the hose to the vacuum cleaner simply clogged up and the vacuum cleaner could no longer engage in evil.

This, I believe, is the tipping point in the war between vacuums and dogs.

And so, I report to the canine world. There is still hope.

Simply shed. Shed like you've never shed before and we can cover the carpets of the world with so much fur that all the vacuums will simply choke and clog up.

My name is Coco. I am a little brown doggie who is looking out for you.

Monday, July 16, 2012

Dog Obesity

An article in the paper today said that a third of the dogs in Salt Lake City are obese.

I am a doggy who just happens to live in Salt Lake. Realizing the article would cause concern with my adoring public, I felt obliged to log in and blog about my health.

This little brown doggy does not number among the doggies who are obese. For that matter, I actually subsist on the border of starvation.

This is because my my humans are greedy and lazy. They want to keep all the food for themselves and carefully measure out my scant morsels giving me the absolute minimum of food to avoid a call from ASPCA.

If not for my snatching scraps off the table and eating grass. I am quite certain I would have died by now.

When living on minimal rations, missing a meal is a pain beyond recognition. I can't tell you how many times my humans simply forgot to feed me, but I am sure it is quite often.

I thank my adoring audience for concern over my weight. This doggy is not overweight. I am as light as a feather and fly like the wind.


Thursday, June 7, 2012

Were the Leaks Politically Motivated?

There's been a great deal of press lately about all of the leaks.

There is even an Congressional hearing to see if the leaks  were politically motivated.

Well, it is time for this little doggie to stand tall and tell the truth.

While some of the leaks were motivated by a full bladder, many of the leaks were, in fact, politically motivated. This is especially true of the leaks on the fire hydrant and on the post leading into to the dog park.

In the face of all the criticism, I stand by the leaks as they helped mark the territory for the pack.

My name is Coco and I am a little brown doggie.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Missing Cat Poster

I came across a "missing cat" poster while I was on my walk in the park today.

Here's the puzzling thing: The poster offered a reward to the person who found the cat.

You would think the reward would be for the entity that made the cat go missing.

My name is Coco. I am a dog. This message has been approved for canine consumption.

Sunday, April 8, 2012


There's been reports of missing cats in the neighborhood ... so animal services has been rounding up all the usual suspect.

Being an innocent little brown doggie, I realized that I needed to get some legal advise.

So I put together a legal defense team.

Our first tact in defending canines against accusations of catricide was to argue that catricide is not murder, but a public service.

Of course, Obama's been putting all sorts of cat-lovers on the bench. If you get a cat-lover on the bench or in a jury, you can kiss your sweet tail goodbye.

So, I came up with a new line of legal defense. Here goes:

"This little doggie is a natural doggie; Therefore, the cat died of natural causes."

In the human legal system a person is considered "Innocent until proven guilty."

In the dog world the law is: "A dog is innocent. Period. I mean, just look at those big innocent eyes. That doggie is innocent. Period."

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Stop SOAP!

Dear faithful blog readers. This little doggie is joining the International Internet blackout in protest of SOAP.

I hate baths.

The thing I hate most about baths is SOAP.

I give an enthusiastic tail wag to all sites engaged in the black out!

Tell your Congressman to Stop SOAP and Stop SOAP now.

This blog post was paid for by the Coco for Supreme Ruler of the Universe Super PAC.

I, Coco the doggie, approve this message.

Monday, January 2, 2012

New Years Resolution

My name is Coco. I am a little brown doggy.

My resolution for 2012 is to stimulate the economy by creating shovel ready job.

Human, get your shovel ready. It is time for a work and I feel a shovel ready project coming on.