The Four Legged Awkward Human

It was the funniest thing ever.

My human has a contract that says he must walk the dog three times a day. Each walk must be at least a half hour in length. Preferrably the walks should be two hours and involve a Frisbee.

Anyway, my human does not stick with the contract and I have to growl at him and bite at his kneecaps to remind him of his duty.

So, I was working on my human to get him to go on a walk.

Instead of putting on his regular shoes, he put on some strange looking black boots with stiff ankles. He then grabbed two blue poles and two really long green planks.

He put them in the car and drove to my running park.

He had a hard time driving because of the awkward boots.

My running field is covered with snow this time of year.

My human then attached the two long green planks to his boots. He used the two poles as if they were front paws.

You have to imagine this. My human was using the green planks as if they were back paws, and was using the long blue poles as if they were front paws. My guess is that he thought his artificial paws might make him and quick and nimbl as a puppy.

It was all really exciting so I jumped up and down uncontrollably.

Well, you can guess what happened next. He slid out in the running field and, sure enough, he immediately fell over.

It was very funny. I jumped up and down on top of him in dog laughter.

My human skooted around the playing field in big wide circles.

Some time he would skoot up the hill and come sliding down.

Often his attempts to slide down would end up in a fall.

I would jump up and down on him each time he fell.

Some times I would run and throw my weight against him to see if I could force a fall. I rarely succeeded.

One time he did this fall where the two planks on his feet V'ed out from under him and he fell into the snow face first ... his feet attached to the boards like hinges.

Watching my human on wooden planks falling over was extremely funny. It is interesting though that humans can use really long poles as if they were front paws.

PS: I wish all the doggies and their humans a Happy New Year.

Lessons from a Lost Puppy

Sad but true: I was once a lost puppy.

My first human wasn't quite ready for a puppy when I showed up at his den. So, I was in a less than secure location. One November day, while my human was at work, it started getting all snowy and cold.

This was my first snow storm and I was all worried. Not knowing what to do about the snow, I squiggled out of my container and set forth on the city streets.

I wandered around for a long time and got all shivery and cold. Finally I spied a kind looking human walking along the street. I followed this new human to a den with a cozy looking porch.

I looked at the human with my big brown puppy eyes and commanded the human to give me food and to let me share the den for the night.

This quick thinking got me through the snow storm.

When I woke up the next day, I discovered that everything was covered in white and I couldn't find my paw tracks back to my first den.

To make matters worse, I realized that I left my collar with my ID at my first den. (I keep my ID on a dog tag hanging from my collar).

It was horrible. These new humans didn't even know that my name was Coco. They just called me "dog."

There was no way back to my first human. As humans are lost and alone without their dog, I knew the poor guy would be in dire straights.

Now, I had heard other doggies talking about wonderful little mircrochips that can ID a lost puppy.

I instructed this new set of humans to take me to a vet to get me scanned.

Us dogs have things arranged so that humans pay to get the chip implanted. People who find lost puppies can get the lost puppy scanned for free.

Alas, I did not have a chip.

After much frantic pacing back and forth, this lost puppy made the bold decision to ask the new humans to be my servants.

Several days after my new humans agreed to take care of me, we did find my first human. His name is Doug. Doug told my new humans that my name was "Coco."

My lost puppy story worked out okay. But, since good dog loving humans are a scarce commodity, some lost puppies get lost and never find a good warm den to call their own again.

Realizing my propensity to wander, my new humans had a chip implanted in me. That way I could get found again.

Anyway, below is a video by FetchDog (on online Pet Store) for the Home Again pet MicroChip program. It shows the simple process of getting a MicroChip for your dog.

Sandy Paws Delivers

Like a good little doggie, I hung my stocking by the chimney with care.

True to his bark, Sandy Paws came on Christmas morn and I got a bone. How did Sandy Paws know that I would like a bone? Here is a picture of me enjoying the bone.

Sandy Paws

Every seven dog years (just after the darkest days of winter) a wonderous event occurs. A wonderful white bearded dog named Sandy Paws travels around the world and gives all good dogs a treat.

Since dogs are, by definition, good. That pretty much means we all get a treat.

So, I put out my stocking and hope that Sandy Paws and will have pleasant doggie dreams. I wish you all a merry XMas and a joyous start of the next seven dog years.

Purple Bandage

As if the shoes weren't bad enough; my humans then decided to wrap my paw in a purple bandage.

I have an instinct for this type of thing and my instinct says that the cure for sore paw is to lick and chew at the sore paw.

Dancing Shoes

My humans got me pair of dancing shoes. I think they are trying to help me with my soar paw. I am not pleased at all with this development. Below I am wearing all four of my new shoes on a walk.

What's a Dog to Do?

Coco is laid up with a bum paw. It looks like the snow, salt and licking made the paw raw. Right now her rear paw is wrapped in gauss and doggie booty. (Click picture for full view)

You know, one could make a better booty with an old sock. For the sole, one could use an old inner tube.

The Frisbee Didn't Stand a Chance

While I convelesce, I instructed my human to catch up on some of my old Frisbee fetching pictures:

Blowing Out a Paw

Things are not going well.

I blew out my right rear paw and am running on a spare.

Although I really wanted to play fetch today, I couldn't because my rear paw was all sore and raw. It is probably the toxic combination of salt on the road, the freezing cutting snow and a tendency to lick wounds until they get worse.

My humans rushed me off to PETsMART where they bought doggie booties and gauss to make a temporary bandage. We will see how I do over the weekend. If the sore gets worse, it will be off to the vet on Monday.

Here are some pictures. Click for larger view:

A Zisc Disc in the Snout

Not to speak ill of the bipeds, but my human is somewhat of a dolt.

About a month ago, he lost my Frisbee!

I had to go like a whole month without a decent flying disc. The picture below shows my new Zisc Disc. Click on the picture for the full 1024px resolution.

Anyway, my human was all grumbly about how I am eating him out of house and home and asked that I write up a page of Dog Disc Reviews. I just started the page. I need to get the picture of my Floppy Disc and Flying Squirrel up online. I'll let you know when I'm finished.

I really like the feel of the Zisc Disc. The only problem is that the rim of the frisbee is too large and it keeps bouncing off my noses when I jump for a fetch.

Scratching the Itch

One of my fans asks: "Coco, I noticed that you often scratch your ear during moments of quiet contemplation. Does your ear itch?"

This is a good question. I would like to say that scratching my ear helps me in my contemplation. But, the truth is that my ear is pretty much the only place that I can reach with by back paw.

My paws, you see, have these really wonderful toe nails that are perfect for two things: They give great traction when I run through snow. They are also the ultimate tool for scratching.

I happen to have springy rear legs that are super fast. I can scratch at a rate of upwards of 50 strokes a minute.

The only problem is that I can only reach a few select points on my doggie body.

With such wonderful scratching instruments strapped to my hind quarters, I figure I should scratch any place within reach of my hind legs as often as I can simply because I can do it.

My name is Coco. I am a dog and I approve this message.

Through the Tube

My human wanted me to go through this spooky hole.

Not me. I am not falling for that trick. I wouldn't go through a spooky hole ... not even for a treat.

HypnoEyes

One of my secret weapons is HypoEyes. Using nothing but the power of my hypno-eyes, I shall force corn chips from this girl's paper plate into my snout:

A Canine Paradox

For today's post, Coco contemplates one of the great paradoxes of canine mathematics. The paradox is:

"One can often find several hundred pounds of dog in a single dog pound."

The Purifying Effects of Snow

Snow has a purifying effect.

As you see, each season has its unique characteristics. Summer is fun. It is full of green running fields and warm days.

In Autumn, the leaves turn yellow, brown and red.

During Autumn, there is a wondeful smell of decaying leaves and decaying grass ... but a doggie must be careful in the Fall. Things might smell intense, but they are all rotteny and foul when the doggie tries to eat them. Doggies must be cautious in Fall.

The snow has a purifying effect on the world. It covers all of the decay of Fall in a deep blanket of white.

A doggie can run and bound in the snow ... leaving fresh paw prints on the running fields.

The best part of snow is that, if a doggie is able to sniff up anything under the carpet of white, the doggie can confidently eat it ... the purifying effects of the snow ... you know.

My name is Coco. I am a dog, and I approve this message.