Sunday, February 15, 2009

The Natural Order of Things

Coco is wise. She says that there is a natural order to things and if a doggie carefully sniffs the wind, the doggie can determine this natural order.

For example, things in Coco's life include walks, sleeping, and food. Coco says that she loves sleeping but is always happy to get up for a walk; therefore a walk is of a higher order than sleeping. She says that she would prefer a bowl of kibbles to either a walk or sleeping; therefore, eating of of the highest order.

In the creation of things there is a natural order as well.

Doggies are clearly the most wonderful things on the planet (with the exception of puppies). Being full of wonderfulness, doggies clearly belong in the highest order of things.

Doggies are inherently good; therefore dogs are innocent and should not be accused of wrongdoing. For example, doggies should not be accused of eating the double recipe of brownies. Accusing a wonderful animal of such things is just plain mean.

Let's say, hypothetically, that a doggie did indeed eat the brownies, or the lasagna, or (while we are on the subject), let's say hypothetically that a doggie ate that really yummy batch of cinamon rolls that the humans bought for a special party.

If the doggie did in fact eat these things, the innate wonderfulness of the doggie would shed any moral guilt associated with the act. Therefore, the doggie should not be accused of wrongdoing.

The great creator gave humans free will. With free will, humans are capable choosing between good and evil. Since humans have free will, they sometimes choose good and sometimes choose bad. As such humans have have both good and evil.

So, here is the deal: Doggies are full of wonderfulness. This means that doggies (along with dolphins, polar bears and koalas) are among the highest order of creature on the planet.

Humans, with their free will, have some wonderfulness and some wickedness, Consequently, they are a lower level creature than the doggie.

Now, the creator, while creating the planet, had a whole big pile of leftover evilness. Evil is extremely toxic in concentrated form. Believing that dilution is the solution to pollution, the creator created cats and put just a little bit of evilness in each cat.

This explains why cats are evil, and why there are so many of them. It also helps explain why cats need chasing.

Coco is wise. She says that when one sniffs the wind, one can deduce the natural order of things. Doggies are highest, humans in the middle, and cats are evil. Cats need chasing.

Of course, when sniffing one must be careful not to confuse the natural order of things with the natural odor of things.

I mean, dead things found on the road side have a really strong odor. Poop gives off really strong odors as well. Having eaten both roadkill and poop, Coco has wisely deduced that it is the quality and not strength of odors that help one determine the natural order.

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